Consulting the Love Doctor

Romantic relationships can play a significant role in college students’ mental health, influencing everything from stress levels to self-esteem.

At Oakland University, where many students balance academics, work and personal growth, relationships can either support well-being or contribute to emotional strain.

On social media, romantic relationships are often portrayed as effortless and consistently fulfilling. Posts highlighting anniversaries, gifts and shared experiences can create the impression that healthy relationships are free of conflict.

However, experts say this idealized version rarely reflects the full reality of relationships.

Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert and professor of sociology at OU, said social media often distorts how people view relationships.

Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert and professor of sociology at OU.

“Social media creates unrealistic relationship expectations, which leads to frustration and disappointment,” said Orbuch.

Constant exposure to curated images of happy couples can lead students to compare their own relationships to what they see online. Studies from Pew Research Center have found that social media shapes how young adults perceive relationships, often reinforcing idealized expectations.

According to the American Psychological Association, social comparison is linked to increased stress and lower self-esteem, particularly among young adults.

When reality does not match those expectations, students may begin to feel dissatisfied, even in otherwise healthy relationships.

Conflict, miscommunication and emotional ups and downs, which are normal parts of relationships, are often absent from social media.

Students in supportive partnerships are also more likely to sleep better, maintain healthier habits and experience less stress.

“Romantic relationships – when they are healthy and happy – positively affect college students’ psychological and physical health,” Orbuch said.

However, not all relationships provide those benefits.

Unhealthy relationships – including those that are controlling, manipulative, critical or lacking trust – can negatively impact students’ emotional stability.

This is especially important during college years, when many students are still forming their identities, goals and sense of self, a developmental stage supported by research from the National Institute of Mental Health.

“These unhealthy relationships and partners can contribute to mental health challenges,” Orbuch said.

Recognizing warning signs early can help students protect their emotional well-being.

Lingering conflict, lack of support and feeling unsafe in a relationship are among the most common indicators.

“There’s lingering conflict and anger,” Orbuch said.

Another major sign is the absence of emotional support during stressful situations.

“An unhealthy relationship is one where you would prefer to get help from anyone but your partner,” Orbuch said.

Students may also notice they avoid spending time with their partner, feel disrespected or experience repeated patterns of negative behavior.

While one issue alone may not define a relationship, consistent patterns can signal deeper problems that need attention.

Maintaining healthy boundaries is essential for protecting mental health. Clear communication and realistic expectations can help prevent resentment and confusion.

“Know and set your limits. Then, clearly communicate them with ‘I’ statements rather than ‘you’ statements,” Orbuch said.

Students should also feel comfortable saying no without guilt while still respecting their partner’s emotions.

For those experiencing heartbreak or emotional distress, experts recommend evaluating how the relationship affects daily functioning.

“If distress is negatively affecting sleep, hygiene, social activities, eating habits or course work, there is no time like the present to seek professional help and support,” Orbuch said.

Students can access no-cost, short-term counseling through campus resources such as the OU Counseling Center, with referrals available for long-term care.

As students navigate relationships during college, experts emphasize that partnerships should support mental health rather than define it.

While social media may highlight ideal moments, the reality of relationships includes growth, conflict and communication. Emotional safety, respect and mutual support remain key to maintaining both strong relationships and overall well-being.